Who's your favorite?
Tomorrow!!!!! My anticipation for No Way Home is sky high. Before this event movie comes out, I thought it'd be fun to rank every single different on-screen version of Spider-Man thus far. This includes Tobey, Andrew, Tom, as well as every Spider-Man from Into the Spider-Verse. I also decided to include the black suit from Spider-Man 3, because why not? That said, here is my ranking of every on-screen Spider-Man.
Be sure to come back on Thursday for my SPOILER-FREE thoughts on Spider-Man: No Way Home!!!! And then, this weekend, I will be ranking the movies, villains, and giving you a SPOILER review of No Way Home.
10. Black Suit Spider-Man (Spider-Man 3)
The black suit storyline in Spider-Man 3 is absolutely abysmal. Instead of taking the interesting concept of the Venom symbiote infecting Spider-Man in a cool direction, we get dancing Peter Parker. And I do not enjoy dancing Peter Parker. Tobey Maguire is so cringe-inducing in this role. He's aggressive against Sandman, which is good, but everything else is executed in this very 2000s, very bad way. It wasn't good in 2007, and age has only decreased its quality. Black suit Spidey is a very cool storyline in the comics. But not in Spider-Man 3.
9. Peni Parker (Into the Spider-Verse)
From here on up, I enjoy these characters. The next few are just the side characters from Spider-Verse. They are fun, but don't really have big character arcs or defining traits. Peni, in my opinion, is the worst of the Spider-Men in Spider-Verse. She is given the least screentime and I think she's the weirdest in a bad way out of all of them. The idea of a robot Spider-Man is very cool, but it's not developed enough to put her higher.
8. Spider-Man Noir (Into the Spider-Verse)
Once again, a cool character that isn't given the spotlight in Spider-Verse. That's not a criticism. Noir is meant as a side character. Why they got Nic Cage to voice him? I don't know. But he's a fun, funny take on the classic Spider-Man character. I like the idea of a dark city character from the 40s that is Spider-Man. That's a clever spin on the character. He's just not the center of attention in Spider-Verse. And that's okay. He's a great spice character.
7. Spider-Ham (Into the Spider-Verse)
Talk about great spice characters: Spider-Ham is awesome. The thing that I love about Into the Spider-Verse is it's willingness to take risks. Nobody would've thought a cartoon pig that is Spider-Man would be a good idea. But his addition in Spider-Verse is great. He is hysterical. There's always a laugh when he's on screen. And he has a great payoff in the finale. As with the past two, he's a side character. So he's doesn't get the spotlight. But that's okay.
6. Spider-Gwen (Into the Spider-Verse)
I really like Gwen in Spider-Verse. And I do hope she gets her own spin-off movie. I love her character arc. She rejects everyone around her as friends because she's worried that they will suffer the same fate that her best friend in her world did. And, through the process of taking down Kingpin with all the various Spider-people, she becomes best friends with Miles. It's a great emotional journey. Besides that, I love the look of the character. I think that she has some of the coolest moments. And I am really excited to see her return in Across the Spider-Verse Part One.
5. Peter Parker (Spider-Man)
Okay. I know this is a hot take. But I've never loved Tobey Maguire's take on Spider-Man. Now, I totally understand that he's a cultural icon. He is the reason that this ranking can exist. And that's why I put him this high. His character arc is good. He's a morally complex character. If he spent the majority of those three movies in the Spider-Man suit, he'd probably be number one. I love him as Spider-Man. But I cannot stand Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker. I think he's goofy. I think his blubbery. He tries to be emotional, but it's just cringe. He's not likable. He's very much a product of the 2000s. And I think that really holds him back. He may honestly be the best Spider-Man. But he's not the best mix of Spidey and Peter Parker. He's an icon, but I just hate him as Peter, so sadly, I can't put him higher.
4. Peter Parker (The Amazing Spider-Man)
I really like Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man. I think his performance is great. Really the only thing I don't like is the cool Peter Parker. The skateboarder. He's not really a nerd. He's more punk-like. But I am a fan of both the suits. I love the performance. I love the darker version of the web-slinger. Tobey Maguire's version gets pretty cheesy at times, and Garfield takes that in the opposite direction. He can be whiny and unlikable at times, but I think that's okay. Peter Parker is not a perfect human being. I originally had him higher, and after thinking about it, he's not as nice of a guy as Spider-Man usually is, so I moved him down a spot. But I still think this character is great. Sorry, not great. Amazing.
3. Peter Parker (Into the Spider-Verse)
Another great journey in Spider-Verse is Pete's character arc. After the Spider-Man that Miles knows dies, Peter Parker from an alternate universe comes in. But it's not the powerful, confident Peter Parker that we know. He's a loser. He has given up on life. And, once again, through the journey that he takes in mentoring Miles, he's able to regain his confidence, his agility, his strength, and his will to be Spider-Man. That's a very different take on Peter, and I really like that. Spider-Man has been done hundreds of times between comics, TV shows, movies, video games, etc. And a lot of the time, he's the same. This is probably the most unique version of Peter Parker that we've ever gotten.
2. Miles Morales (Into the Spider-Verse)
I absolutely adore Miles Morales. And Spider-Verse was my introduction to him. I will always remember that. His origin story is different than Peter's, but just as compelling. He has this complex relationship with his uncle. He loves Aaron Davis and looks up to him, but doesn't realize that he's also his arch nemesis, the Prowler. That's a really interesting dynamic. Another thing that makes Miles great is that he is mentored by people who have been Spider-Man for a while. That's something Peter never had, and that makes Miles stand out. I cannot wait to see where he's taken in Across the Spider-Verse.
1. Peter Parker (Marvel Cinematic Universe)
Tom Holland is perfect because he's the best of both worlds. He's great in the Spider-Man suit, but also great as Peter Parker. Now, he has been shaped by other people from the MCU (Iron Man, Nick Fury, Doctor Strange), but I think that it works for this character. Both Homecoming and Far From Home are incredible movies that benefit from a Peter Parker that is still learning to be Spider-Man. There are some complaints that we don't have a normal Spider-Man story inside of the MCU, but I think that's okay. That wouldn't fit inside the MCU. Tom Holland's Spider-Man fits as a great version of the character as well as a welcome addition to the Marvel universe. He's one of my favorite movie characters of all time. I love him.