More family. More problems. More Marlon.
Sextuplets is a 2019 comedy film directed by Michael Tiddes, written by Mike Glock, Rick Alvarez, and Nathan Reimann, produced by Ugly Baby Productions and Wayans Alvarez Productions, and distributed by Netflix. The film stars Marlon Wayans and Bresha Webb. It was not nominated for any Academy Awards.
"We're sextuplets!" -Alan Daniels
When Alan Daniels discovers his birth mother's address, he is ecstatic. Instead of finding his mother, however, Alan finds his twin brother, Russell. As Alan begins discovering stuff around the house, he finds out that him and Russell are sextuplets. Together, the two of them go off on a journey around the globe to find the rest of their family. Alan must find them quickly, before his wife gives birth to their child.
I do think that Marlon Wayans does a pretty good job of playing all six characters. He does make each of them have distinct things that they do and ways that they act. Alan is obviously just the normal character, Russell is an idiot that sometimes makes smart remarks, Dawn is really loud and outspoken, Ethan is really creepy, Baby Pete is very mischievous, and Jasper is downright terrifying. Each of them feels different, and that is hard for an actor to do when the script is as horrible as the script in Sextuplets is.
There are two scenes that were good: the first was when Alan was talking to his father-in-law. There was some very awkward tension and some relatively normal conversation between the two of them that felt true to how humans actually act. The second is when Alan's birth mother, Lynette, comes home. It's a genuine surprise and it was the one time where I got near laughing out loud.
However, this movie is not good. At all.
Besides those two things that I mentioned before, everything else is done in the laziest, least funny, and worst way possible. Besides Marlon Wayans, all the other acting is garbage. The characters are very stereotypical and have no depth. The sister, Dawn, is the closest thing to what I would call funny, but is still very far from it. The story is riddled with plot holes. For example, why did Lynette only keep Russell? The movie fails at almost every aspect of filmmaking. Let's analyze.
First off, the script is horrific. The first time that I laughed out loud during the film was when the credits rolled, because I was so glad that it was over. The first fifteen minutes of the film are pretty much just characters spewing exposition and saying stuff about family so it can set everything up that needs to be set up. The movie goes for the lowest type of juvenile humor; we have toilet humor, we have loud yelling, we have snoring, we have plenty of characters with weird voices, we have blubbering crying, and even more. There isn't an ounce of cleverness in this screenplay or in this movie. It's a pretty rough watch.
Secondly, the characters are pretty bad. We don't know much about any of them, and the stuff we do get is presented in an uninteresting way. Alan is a very typical comedy protagonist. He's pretty much just a normal person, but a dislikable one at that. He was about to let his brother die instead of donating a kidney to him. Russell is the fat character that has a speech impediment. The fatsuit on him was ridiculously obvious. They try to give him some sentimental moments that are impossible to take seriously. Dawn is the best of the bunch, but even her scene at the gas station drags on for too long and isn't really that funny. Ethan is disturbing and creepy. He was there to make the adult jokes and make the audience uncomfortable. Baby Pete isn't in, like, any of the movie, so you don't really care about him. Jaspar is supposed to be the supervillain type of character, but he just comes off as an awkward, very annoying character.
The story, like I said before, just is full of plot holes and continuity errors. They never actually delve into Alan's backstory, besides stating that he was put up for adoption. There's also the example that I used before: why is Russell the only child that Lynette kept? There's a scene where a bunch of cereal spills in a car in slow-motion. The scene itself is ridiculous and stupid, but the next shot, the car is completely clean. Alan and Russell need to get to the hospital, FAST, and Russell doesn't really know how to drive. Alan is about to get in, but Russell says "No. I'll drive.". There was setup for that earlier in the film, but the setup doesn't work completely with the payoff. Ethan gets arrested at the end of the film, but he's at the baby's first party in the epilogue. Speaking of, why hold the first party for your newly born child three months after the kid was born?
The film also constantly undercuts parts that should be dark or emotional moments with comedy or other stuff. Russell tells Alan that Lynette is dead (which she isn't), but Alan believes it. His reaction to finding out his birth mother was crushed by a car is played for laughs. That isn't something funny. That's a serious thing. We find out that Baby Pete has about a week left to live. That's also played as a joke, even though it's a very serious matter. Alan and Russell are in the middle of an argument where Alan tells Russell that he never wants to see him again. Then they get kidnapped mid-sentence. And Lynette coming home is undercut by Jaspar's idiotic and gross blubbering that looks so ridiculous, it almost evoked a laugh from me. Key word: almost.
I'm sorry. To be fair to the film, I did go in with very negative expectations. Those expectations were met. Even if I didn't think I was going to hate it before watching it, I still would not have like it. I just don't really understand how people can find this movie entertaining or funny. It gave me a headache and made some comedy movies that I don't like, such as Blades of Glory or Just Go With It look like pure gold.
Despite some cool acting, Sextuplets fails to create laughs in the audience, instead providing horrible humor to try and cover up the plot holes and deadbeat characters.
I will give it a Moldy rating. Age range is 8+.
SWEET N' SOUR SCALE
Sweet (Great) Savory (Good)
Sour (Bad) Moldy (Terrible)
Fun Factor: 3.5/10
Directed by Michael Tiddes
Rated TV-14 for language, sexual content, thematic elements
Released on August 16, 2019
1 hour and 39 minutes
Marlon Wayans as Alan Daniels, Russell, Dawn, Ethan, Baby Pete, Jaspar, Lynette Spellman
Bresha Webb as Marie Daniels
Spiral Jackson as Russell
Molly Shannon as Linda
Glynn Turman as Leland